News Flash – Everything You Need to Know About Staying Professional

African American man giving two thumbs up, horizontalEvery City, Every Province/State (August 26, 2016) – At exactly 12:01 tonight all major corporations will no longer use social networking as a means of finding new, qualified candidates.

In a recent statement to the press, Every-Major-Corporation-Worldwide made simultaneous headlines with the unanimous decision to “never access popular social networking sites in the effort to recruit qualified, eager candidates.”

In a bid to “try new things” – Every-Major-Corporation-Worldwide agreed it will “no longer access, facilitate, promote or engage” in any social media said Lars Bigshot, Executive of Public Relations and Communications for Every-Major-Corporation-Worldwide. The purpose, according to Mr. Bigshot, is to “go where we’ve never gone before – in the hopes we come back in a different place.”

The fallout is expected to be catastrophic as Everyone-Who-Regularly-Uses-Social Networking – will likely experience high levels of confusion, panic, disillusionment, paranoia and loss of life purpose.

Stay tuned for up to the minute reporting at 12:02 tonight.

By | 2016-12-01T07:03:22+00:00 August 26th, 2016|BLOG|0 Comments

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