You, the general public, (actually me) seem to have a tireless interest in the lives, good, bad or weird – of that group of people who, let’s face it, just plain make a lot more money than the rest of us. How do they do that? Well, in the old days they spent a good deal of their time earning their high-priced salaries by being actors, musicians and performing artists of all variety. They got there because they were exceptionally good at their craft – and to their credit followed their dreams to the fullest.
Today however, one needn’t be concerned with a little thing called “talent” to earn the title “celebrity.”
As a culture, we are routinely inundated with these individuals, who have aptly eluded the usual standard for celebrity status – and succeeded in creating their own cult of personality.Their ability to preoccupy our psyches is nothing short of genius; a testament to the tenacity of a person who really wants to earn a living without completing any discernible work. None.Whatsoever.Ever.
Now, if you’re still following along – you’re either nodding your head in agreement right now, lamenting at the riches that so-and-so or what’s-her-name has amassed through undisputed mastery of our need to leerat heror, you’re wondering why you didn’t just click on that Yahoo story about a kitten that has learned to fetch. Better luck next time.
If you’re in the first category – congratulations. Life begins, you’ve figured it out. All the hours, weeks and months spent fixated on images of the beautiful people is not for nothing. You can cancel your subscription to Celebrity Watch!, remove that tantalizing photo of a certain Canadian crooner who you just knowwould fall madlyin love with you if he knew how much you two have in common – and begin reading sensible media outlet stories that required indepth research and analysis; having been written by the brightest minds of our time.
For the rest of us (once again just me) we’re left in the bloody aftermath of a clever plot to generate obscene amounts of cash just-by-being-watchable. That’s right – these Rasputinesquetitans of the illegitimately-employed have figured out a way to dominate our thought police, distract us (me) from reading more informative and educational information(or even a Pizza Pizza flyer) and instead compel us (me) to stand helplessly speed-reading in the check-out line at the grocery store for fear of not learning if a certain female actor plead guilty or not guilty at her latest judicial arraignment.
We know it’s pointless. We know it’s silly. We know reading the label on a can of Campbell soup is more intelligent.
Who’s pregnant with whose baby after supposedly announcing her petition for divorce from the would-be father? (I knew she was still seeing him –I just knew it!)
Maybe I won’t cancel that membership just yet.